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I just got out of a lunch where the girls were celebrating new job moves, and felt the sudden need to check in with my year. I (clearly) have not been writing as much as I anticipated for the year. As my sister pointed out, I’ve entered “Wedding Land” where thoughts about business and life have been replaced with thoughts about guest lists and formal wear. Sometimes, this really bothers me and I want to call the whole thing (the wedding thing, not the marriage thing) off. Other times, I get a little sadistically giddy about the fact that I’m experiencing the age-old (or at least a couple decades’ old) traditions of planning a Big Fat American Wedding.

I started my year telling myself that I could not Do All The Things. I could not plan the wedding, change careers, build a business, get into yoga teacher mode, and maintain my sanity and relationships. And that has been true. My Big Lesson of the year was learning to be OK with letting the focus scale tip one way, and then the other way, and occasionally to a completely other way.

This completely other way took form for me in the Product Management courses at General Assemb.ly that I decided to jump on. It took form for my larger family when we found out we are welcoming the first additions of the next generation of my family at the end of the year (!!!). It shifted again when PJ and I made some big-decision tweaks, based on those two things and new desires of our own.

Oy, our world seems in constant flux. BUT let’s get back to the year check in.

In 2014, i simply wanted to:

1) Act as I would act if I were not afraid.
2) Take 100% responsibility for my life circumstances.
3) Try to do good every day.

I think I’ve gotten #2 DOWN. #1 is a constant struggle, but I’m certainly trying. #3 as well, but it looks like it is about to get a little easier. Just the other day, I found out about a site called Catchafire, where P and I can volunteer our time and skills to nonprofits and social enterprises, doing the things we actually like (and are capable of) doing! Add that to Charity Miles, helping moms with their baby strollers and push carts down the Sunnyside train platform, and keeping company with the homeless guy I’m half convinced is homeless by choice, it’ll be a piece of cake.

My 30 before 30 is getting a little headway too:
1.    Take yoga teacher training (practicing yoga at home most days)
2.    Work for a nonprofit (working toward using my Product Management learnings to the non-profit world)
8.    Learn how to buy/sell/hold paper assets (stocks, bonds, etc.) (got my first mutual fund!)
9.    Get rid of my procrastination habit (there are weeks when I get a little better, following the 2-minute rule and using awesome apps, but I SLIP often, and hard)
10.    Upgrade wardrobe, pruning until I love every item in my closet (slowly but surely!!)
13.    Learn how to do my own makeup and learn the right products for my skin (getting the skin products down, and pretty proud that I bought my first ‘big girl’ tinted moisturizer and foundation)
14.    Drop to 135 lbs. (6 lbs away!)
15.    Marry my PJ P. (Working on it — 7 months away!)
19.    Buy property (Got my first “prequalification” from the bank, but there’s a lot of work left to go there)
27.    Develop the habit of keeping a clean home (see number 9, above)
30.    Get a job outside of publishing (It is HARD to leave, but I like to think I’m moving toward that)

So, in reflection, there is a lot to work on, but as long as I stay focused on moving toward this better life, things are always looking up!

What do I want? Why am I here? What do I want for the world?

/ pjandcarin / Leave a comment

via The Daily Good

“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.”

-Annie Dillard

The traditional “American Dream” retirement mindset you learn from a young age tells you to go to college, climb the ladder, find a well-paying job that allows you to support a family, retire at 65, and you’ll be fulfilled.

There’s one slight problem with this retirement mindset: it doesn’t actually lead to fulfillment. Gallup’s 2013 State of the American Workplace report showed that as many as 70% of American workers are disengaged at their jobs. Nearly one-fifth of those people were so disengaged at the office that they were actively undermining their co-workers’ work.

I think part of this lack of fulfillment stems from our failure as a society to encourage people to ask themselves simple questions which often don’t yield simple answers: Who am I? What do I want? Why am I here? What do I want for the world? What is my purpose? Why?

I’ve asked many of my peers why? over the last two years and not once has someone answered, “make lots of money so I can buy nice stuff,” “run a corporation so I can have lots of power,” or “pass the time as quickly as possible, doing as little as possible, so I can retire with a pension in 40 years and go on a cruise with my partner.” Continue reading →